Comments I spent some time with a very good friend of mine who lives in Cape Town. Now, for the purposes of this column I have to mention his race. He is a black guy who has predominantly dated white women in South Africa. He is not South African. He made some interesting observations I found stinging and interesting at the same time. He seems to hate it but trapped in it at the same time. His dilemma has made me realise how easy it is to isolate people we think are the other. He has become a fetish.
She has a thing for black guys. Go for her bro. I know that it could be argued that when a guy sees a hot chick, what attracts him at first is her physical appearance. I have a friend who studied at a prestigious university in the United States, rated one of the top five best business schools in the world. She is South African. She told me that she found that she was not that well received by African Americans while white people seemed to be welcoming to other Africans.
As a result she ended up hanging out with white people. He has a point. They had a great date, much laughter and joy was had and they said their respective goodbyes. He began to text her during the week but the texts were sent to a phantom person because there were no responses. Then later he runs into her at some or other party and he asks her what happened. Is kissing this mystery to black people? I got the sense that you never stop being a colour in a circle where one is a fetish, as he believed he is.
It looks like we are still very much in our comfort zone when it comes to dating and are unwilling to explore. We live in a global village where we see the same things and have similar outlooks in life. Why do people restrict themselves to a narrow world of dating when the possibilities are so much more when you expand your horizon? Why would narrow your pool? As much as I often tease and say Cape Town is racist, it was only in Cape Town where I dated across the colour line, but never in Johannesburg.
When I dated a white girl or a coloured girl, it was not because I was looking for someone different, I just fell for someone who happened to be another colour. And that was all that mattered. For some reason, race seems to matter more than how people actually feel.
Which is sad really. Khaya Dlanga Apart from seeing gym as an oppression of the unfit majority, Khaya works in the marketing and communications industry for one of the world's largest brands.
Before joining the corporate world, he was in the advertising field where he won many awards, including a Cannes Gold. He says if you don't like his views, he has others.
Read more from Khaya Dlanga.