There have been countless examples of postrefracism with people being told to 'go home' and called racially abusive names. But this racism, and in its lesser form as microaggressions , has always been there in one form or another, especially in the dating world.
I first wrote about my experiences of fetishisation on Tinder as a black mixed-race person just over year ago. Since then, I have removed myself from the app, received many unsolicited Facebook requests from men who had 'read my article and just wanted to say hey', and, quite happily, found myself back together with an ex-boyfriend. But while my forays into the online dating world are halted at present, for many the struggles are still ongoing.
As a little girl, rather than feeling isolated because of my brownness, often it made me feel unique. When I got older, however, and became one of the last in my friendship group to kiss a boy, I started to realise that there might be something about my race that was making me 'undesirable'.
The feeling of being passed over because of your race - and intrinsically the stereotypes associated with your race - is not a nice one. According to data from OKCupid , Asian and black men receive fewer messages than white men, while black women receive the fewest messages of all users. Christian Rudder, founder of OKCupid, summarised the findings by saying, "Essentially every race - including other blacks - [gives black women] the cold shoulder.
In my experience, we are masculinised and treated less delicately than white women as well as being hyper-sexualised. My own brother only dates people who are lighter than him. In the UK a recent survey found that 80 per cent of black gay men have experienced racism in the gay community. But there are some interesting ways in which dating racism is being challenged. Fellow journalist Zachary Schwartz, 22, took a step into the world of 'swirling', an American term for talking about interracial dating, a few months back.
In the article, he went as far as to say that he hoped his "own babies are Blasian - the inheritance of these two, rich, under-appreciated cultures would be one of the greatest gifts I could give them". It was crazy because I would see all the white skateboarders and all my white friends having first kisses.
With me and my Asian friends there was none of that," he says. That was like a trope. The way that Asian men are feminised and the way black women are masculinised means we are on completely opposite ends of the spectrum. Options to share this content.