Stressing out about Valentine's Day? We've got you covered. Send us your question in the form at the bottom of this piece. How invested is David? How invested is she? How good is their communication and does it feel appropriate to talk about it or not?
Do they live in a major city or a more rural area, where dating traditions can vary quite a bit? But the key point is clear: So how do you navigate it? What does all this boil down to? Invest proportionally to your feelings. Not too much higher, not too much lower. Communicate Like An Adult Part of being a grown-up human is practicing honesty in exactly this sort of tricky situation.
Keep it simple and own the weirdness: If that happens it was coming anyway, sooner or later. Even if the outcome is painful, you have the satisfaction of knowing you handled things with open, mature communication.
Yes, the relationship is new and talking is weird. So keep it that way. As marriage and family therapist Dr. How do they answer the question? Do they have strong ideas on deck, signaling they want you to be more of an executor that follows orders? Or are they more passive, signaling they want you to show leadership and suggest something? Tactics are the means deployed to gain an objective.
Strategy is planning, positioning, and decision-making that shape what tactics are used and when. If one side blows this up, the consequences can be grave. For example, a good female friend of mine had been seeing a guy for a few months. So what does he do? Take her to five-star haute cuisine mecca Bouley, in Manhattan. And you can accomplish that quite simply. In this, it is much easier to plan something without overdoing it. In years and generations past, buying a piece of jewelry or a box of chocolates, for instance, could be seen as over- jewelry or under- chocolate doing it.
Today, it's easy to make dinner at someone's house or go to a local show. It's hard to overdo dinner or a show because it is about two people spending time together as opposed to one person getting an over- or under- expensive gift from someone.
Take the capitalism out of it, he seems to be saying; simple, unaffected, and thoughtful are the way to go. As long as you put in a good effort, they want you to succeed.
Focus on experiences and keep it fun. Read the rest of the Gentlemanly Advice series.