But is there any truth in this, and is there really someone out there for everyone? It is not as if the one for us wears a badge informing us that they are, therefore our choices should be informed by sound judgement and careful decision making.
Deciding on someone When we meet someone and start dating, we naturally evaluate how much we might actually like them, and whether we are aware of this or not, we may use a particular decision making strategy. The first of these strategies is called satisfising deciding we like them and that they are the one for us, because they meet the basics of what we are looking for. The second strategy is called maximizing always attempting to find someone better Simon, Mistakes and errors However, there is a danger with employing each of the two strategies outlined above.
In understanding this we need to take a visit to statistical hypothesis testing, where two types of error exist known as type one and type two errors. A type one error is a false positive error, meaning that we accept something as true or accept an effect as true when it is not. A type two error is failing to accept something as true or failing to detect an effect where it does exists.
Each error has a real life consequence. If we satisfice, we may make a type one error, because being too lenient in our mate choice, we may in the long run discover that we have accepted the wrong person for us. How long will it take? Is there even such a thing as love at first sight?
If not, then once we meet and start dating someone, how long do we actually take to decide whether they are the one for us? In answer to the first question, men are more likely than women to fall in love at first sight. Men are more easily and rapidly attracted simply by physical appearance, which takes little time to assess.
The evolutionary psychology explanation for this is that physical appearance signals health and reproductive viability. Therefore the qualities that females generally seek in a long term partner take more time to assess, meaning that love at first sight is less likely for females. In other words the more we see somebody and the more similar they are to us, then the more likely it is we will like them and them us.
As long as we are prepared to make careful judgments, and not be unrealistic in our romantic beliefs then there possibly is.
Keep listening to the song. The ritualisation of laughter. Psychological Review, 63 2 ,