Getty Images Sexpert Abiola has step-by-step advice for a plus-size woman who wants to spice it up with her partner. Now she wants to help you keep things spicy and fresh between the sheets. Are you in need of an intimacy intervention?
Dear Abiola, I met a man that is so awesome to me. It's hard to put into words how fantastic our relationship is. We have such amazing chemistry and I do not want that to ever go away. Let me just say, the sex is good and has always been fun. We talk and laugh during sex which I think helps me get in the grove a lot better. Even though I have some serious insecurity issues due to my physique, he makes me feel special in moments of intimacy that allows me to be open.
I am plus size and he is average both is height and in "manhood". He can handle me pretty well given our height differences but when we are intimate we typically stick to just missionary. However, I want to try something else to spice up our love life. He is totally OK with being on top but I fear that one day, he will get bored of our love life and want something more.
We've tried a few new positions but due to my size in weight, it was rather difficult. I am finding that with missionary, I do not always have an orgasm and sometimes it takes us having sex multiple times in one night before I get off.
What are some positions or intimate moments you can suggest for women who are a bit larger that allows us both to enjoy sex? Dear Wonderful in Wisconsin, First of all, my dearest queen I applaud you for taking control of your love life. It sounds like your man agrees with me that you are gorgeous and fully deserving of love, affection and pleasure. Be willing to let go of those old insecurity issues. Your worth is not attached to your body size or even the fact that you have the loving and attentive man you deserve.
You were born worthy. I want you to look in your own eyes every time you pass a mirror and tell you, your best friend: I love being me. Men are visual and your man clearly likes what he sees. Your beautiful energy shines forth so I wanted to do something special for you. I consulted with lingerie expert Cora Harrington to find out her picks for plus-size women. Shopping for delicates with your partner can heighten anticipation and put all of your gifts in lovely wrapping paper.
Try these position revamps: Bigger and Beautiful Position Roundup. Then your man can enter you from the front. If he needs access assistance, there is nothing wrong with him standing on a small stool or something else. You can use pillows if you need extra support. He can enter from the back or the front. If from the front, see if you feel comfortable putting a leg up on his shoulder.
This can bring you both great pleasure. Either you or him can provide extra stimulation for you, manually or with a small vibrator. Be near the bedhead so that you can hold on to it with one hand if needed. Straddle him and you will both be able to support your luscious weight. As a plus-size princess your man may think that you feel most comfortable in missionary. Since this old standby is not getting you to where you want to be, you may want to add to this position without tossing it out.
Eye contact can also intensify the experience between loving partners. You can manually stimulate yourself a show he might enjoy or reach around and stimulate his prostate. Try using a pillow or two under your butt to change how your bodies interact. This will give an average size man more access and perhaps give you a little more thrusting power as well. You can also remain on your back and your man can reverse position so that your feet line up with his face.
For some women this kind of penetration is too intense, others report pleasure. See if it works for you.