Dating , divorce Two years ago, I met a gentleman I shall henceforth call James, because his name was, well, James. James and I had a first date for the books. I knew about James like you know a good dye job. There was one little problem, however, and that was that James already had a wife. Now, before we all get our panties in a bunch, before I get labeled the heinous man-stealer, let me toss out a few more details: The decision had not been mutual.
James had been the one to request the divorce; his wife had been devastated by his decision. All this information came up over the course of our hour date, and to some extent, the process of James discussing it was akin to someone waving a red flag in my face. A flag that said: And I felt I had to stick around to find out. Which brings me to now, two years into our relationship.
The point of course is this: There are some serious pros to dating a divorced guy. But there are some no-holds-barred cons to it too. I mean, why not try to be uplifting? In this day and age, the briefest jaunt through Facebook reveals significant portions of who this woman is: What she looks like, what parts of herself she likes to advertise.
And if she dumped him? The recently divorced man is, with little exception, the recently traumatized man. You will see him see old photos, you will see him cry or scream or fume or mourn. You will see him feel like he failed. There is good stuff, too! I promised it and I shall deliver. He knows how to communicate. He knows how to compromise. And seeing as how teaching a man these lessons is akin to herding stray cats, this is a valuable attribute to luck into.
A man with a now-defunct marriage under his belt has learned a few things about himself, about what he has to work on, about what he can and cannot handle.
Reprinted with permission from The Frisky.