Also I'm using a throwaway due to the ease of figuring out who I am with my other handle. I'm currently a relatively new graduate student in a young, new PI's lab. For the longest while, it was just me and the lab tech he hired. The tech and I quickly became good friends and what do you know: We sort of proceeded for a while where as soon as we were drinking and alone, we always ended up doing the same thing i.
It was just casual fun. Then then it stopped for a while; I won't get into too much of the details, but my tech was in a long distance thing throughout all of this from a previous relationship they had when they moved down for the job in my defense I thought it was dead. The person they were dating tried moving to make it work, and it quickly deteriorated and now my tech is officially single. And here's the tricky part. I know the saying "don't shit where you eat" and I more than little miffed at being cast aside for their older, seemingly finished relationship.
But we genuinely care about each other. My tech is more cautious than I about how to proceed; I personally think we respect the PI and each other enough that if we tried to get serious and it didn't pan out, we wouldn't impact each other too negatively. Also we work on separate projects completely autonomous from one another, while we spend our days in close proximity, we aren't working side-by-side.
As far as what they know? Next to nothingthey know we spend a lot of time outside the lab with each other, but for the most part it's on the downlow; although the undergrad I supervise has coyly made some prying remarks, but I categorically deny anything. Our PI is mostly oblivious, but honestly he'd be the sappy sort that would likely encourage us dating. So basically I want to ask, does anyone have any experience with this? I mean in general, I think they are a bad idea, and are even worse when there's an implicit or explicit power dynamic, such as with PI's dating grad students, or grad students dating the undergrads they supervise.
I just want to stress again though, that we are effectively peers that work independently from one another. Can it work at all? Am I just deluded enough to think this will work?