What should I do next? We seemed to have a connection on the date and the conversation flowed freely. Phil Thanks for the question, Phil. First up, congratulations on your first date.
Either way, it sounds like you had fun and got on well with her. She may be sitting there thinking the exact same thing! As the man, it is your role to lead, especially in the early stage of dating. And therefore it is your job to initiate plans for the second date, even if you are unsure of whether she wants one. If you want to, you go for it. Bulletproof your mind When you attempt to set up a second date your mind should be brimming with positive affirmations.
You should be thinking: I would love to go on a second date with her, but I accept I may lose her. She may not want a second date with me and I am fine with that. Many men hesitate to arrange a second date because they are worried about being rejected.
Having this mindset will ensure you act authentically and directly when you communicate with her, rather than trying to be too nice , or coming across too egotistical. Yes, you must know what you want, what your goal is, and lead. But you must also be genuine with her, and show your full self. But they are a starting point to jump off from until you learn what works best for you.
Dos when setting up the second date Attempt to set up the second date days after the first date. Start the conversation by mentioning something funny or interesting that happened on the first date.
Make it unique to her. Ask when she is free this week. Once she gives you a day she is free, tell her you are going to meet up. Do keep in mind the purpose of your texting — to arrange a second date.
Do attempt to assess how she feels about you see below. If it does, bring it back to the primary goal of getting a second date. Stay cool, my friend. First get agreement on meeting up again. Assessing how she feels about a second date How she responds to your messages after the first date can give you a strong indication about how keen she is about you. Example of a hypothetical second date request conversation I made this one up.
But it follows the pattern I regularly use. Much naked pillow fighting? No none of that sort of behaviour. It was very tame. We should catch up then. Send me your address. If the woman likes you she will agree to a second date.
Your job is simply to float the idea and see how she reacts. Example of real second date request conversation A woman had told me she was going to a cookery class in a text a few days after the first date. It was so so so so so so bad Me: I have to hear about this! You around Friday or Saturday? Being a betting man those odds suck!
I just want to re-engage her. I ask for the second date quickly, because that is the purpose of this conversation.
I simply ask if she is free Friday or Saturday. I want the date to be on the weekend to increase the chances of her staying the night at mine and us having sex on the second date. She senses I need a direct answer and confirms she can do Saturday.
I confirm, and leave the conversation at that. My opening message follows the rules. Her first response took 1 hour 15 minutes to come in, not unusually long and a neutral sign. But notice how her responses are one word, and she makes little attempt to play my game, making only one guess. At this point it is obvious to me she is not interested, and so I pre-empt her rejection and leave on good terms with a good bye message. Her response confirms my suspicions, and I can happily move on because I accept rejection is part of the process.
But as a man it is your job to do it. When you do set up a second date, keep the conversation casual but directed towards the goal you want. Lead firmly and with your masculine energy. Women are very attracted to this.
If it makes you angry or your feel rejected you should work on those anger issues.