We'd actually briefly chatted over a year ago, but I wasn't interested then for different reasons. He seems like a really nice guy, but almost too nice. Um, almost like he's smothering me already. We're to meet for the first time tomorrow night and he's making such a big deal about it that instead of looking forward to meeting, I'm almost started to dread it, and half consider calling it off. He's been divorced for 2 yrs, no kids. Apparently his ex wife cheated on him, nearly shopped them into debt and basically just wasn't very mature.
Too busy out with her girl friends, at the bars and that kind of thing. He's made it clear that he's looking for a serious relationship, and wants very much to find the 'right person' for him and settle down again. That's cool, we're on the same wavelength in this regard but if his? But, maybe I'm just so used to jerks that his 'niceness' seems so much more magnified? Here are some examples of what's going on, I'd welcome your feedback please: He brought this up again today.
I just flat out told him that it's just not necessary whatsoever, in these early stages, to be exchanging gifts. I think that's just wayyy too much.
Besides, then I'd have to go out and get him something. I told him that perhaps exchanging a card would be plenty I think I should stick to my guns and not buy him anything, regardless of him letting me know he's bought me something for pete's sake.
I've been very busy lately, with final exams and getting ready for Christmas and such I don't mind doing that, but not when I'm asked. We're not some big couple yet, we haven't even met yet A few times now, I've just been really busy, and just not interested in calling up for idle chit chat Then when he calls in the evening, he'll remind me that he left me a message. Seems so needy in this respect. It's turning me off. It would be different if we'd dated for a month or so and knew each other in person.
The plan is that he'll come over and we'll watch some movies. I don't know how many times now, he's gone over his day Saturday, when he'll get to work, what time he'll load up his truck, what time he'll be on the road, what time he'll be back at the shop, what time he'll be free to be with me.
It's almost like this is the highlight of his life. Kind of scary, don't you think? He doesn't even really know me though he keeps telling me what a sweetie I am, and when he says goodnight on the phone, he now says "goodnight dear". This evening, he called and asked when the "earliest" we can get together tomorrow night What's the big deal? How much time do 2 strangers have to spend together on the first evening they meet? God, now I'm already fearing that he won't want to leave til 2am He keeps telling me that he's going to sweep me off my feet I could be the biggest bitch on wheels in real life, you know?
I keep reminding him that you have to really spend time with someone to get to know them. I am off from school, from Dec 24 to Jan 6. Coincidentally, he's off from work for this period, too. He's already made references to us spending tons of time together during this holiday break.
God, I still have school work to do in that time, and dammit, this is also a much needed break from school for me I know right now there are going to be days where I just want to sleep in, putter around my house, visit some family, watch Oprah in my PJ's, relax. Already I sense that he's going to be on my ass every day, to spend time together. He keeps telling me that he keeps going and looking at the picture I sent him online. Almost each day he tells me that he 'just looked at it again.
He comes across as almost desperate or one who falls head over heels for a stranger. Tonight he let it slip that he basically has saved some of the voicemails I've left for him, so he can listen to them again. Okay, I couldn't stand it, so I told him that was 'weird'.. Maybe I'm just much more realistic than him I'm no longer one to be easily charmed or schmoozed, you know? I prefer to just go with the flow and see how things go He seems to have a lot of good qualities, I'll give him that.
We do seem to have an amazing amount of things in common, including our beliefs on life, relationships, current events, religion, interests, etc He often even makes joking comments like "you're not going to be able to get rid of me, sweetie. He keeps telling me how it's been years since he was "this excited" to get up in the morning I like a guy who's perhaps a bit more of a challenge I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I don't feel the same way, and how could I?
I don't even know him yet in person?! He's just coming on far too strong As for tomorrow night, as far as I'd had planned, him coming over at 8pm for 3 hours or so would be plenty. I'm going to stick to my guns. He's even kept telling me that he can't wait to meet me, cuz he wants to give me lots of hugs I set him straight right there