But when a year-old woman marries a year-old man, all hell breaks loose and society goes up in arms. Society has come to accept that a man can marry a girl fit to be their daughter but for a woman to do that is unacceptable. Julian is a divorced woman who fell in love with a man 17 years her junior. This relationship, she believes, brought passion back to her lonely world.
They have been together for two years now and everything seems to be going well, except for the occasional accusatory eyes that seem to judge her when they are together in public. Sometimes I worry and feel ashamed about our age difference but he comforts me and tells me not to worry about what others think and that I should instead focus on how he feels about me. Like Julian, many old women are defying society stereotypes and are dating much younger men.
But despite the society perceptions, older women commonly known as 'cougars' are getting into relationships with much younger men. So, why do older women go for men young enough to date their daughters? And do the men genuinely love these women or are there benefits that come with dating older women? According to Joyce Kirabo who works with the Rwanda Education Board as a counselor and mentor, some young men are materialistic and financially strained, so they look out for older women who are already financially stable and can provide for them.
However, she warns that such relationships usually end in a bad way. She cautions old women to avoid going into relationships with young boys. But she is quick to add that a few might be a result of true love. But for year-old Daisy not real name her experience is not something one would wish for. Her relationship came to an end when her year-old boyfriend introduced her to his parents. Humiliation had never been so strong, she says.
She asked him what had possessed him into dating a woman just seconds away from menopause. At some point, she says, she stormed out and grabbed the next motorbike home. What men say Laban Bizimungu, a year-old accountant says that people do what they do for a reason. According to him, being in a relationship with a much older woman would only be a waste of time since such women always have their own targets, like sexual satisfaction.
He warns that such a woman is not searching for a soul mate and guys in such relationships are also after selfish interests. Alex Kabera shares the same view, saying that dating older women is something that should be frowned upon by society. He calls it shameless because he wonders why a woman would be attracted to a boy fit to be her son in the first place. If it falls for a year-old, so be it.
However, year-old Maureen Katushabe is of the view that when a guy is younger, he might not be ready for a serious relationship, which means he might end up wasting your time.