With that information, I doubt it is a spam email as well. I would still try to wait until the kids aren't present to have the conversation. A communication trick is to ask an open ended question and then stay silent. It makes people very nervous and they often start rambling. You can get a lot of extra information that way.
I have a habit when I'm ticked to go off and let it rip. That is just an FYI and whatever way you handle it is going to be your way and right for you. Men can be so stupid sometimes. I also am not anti porn but this is the kind of thing that can happen.
Doesn't happen to everyone but when it does, it has bad consequences on their REAL relationships. I cried and asked him honestly if he was cheating. I said I felt something and I know we were a strong enough couple to work through it I just needed him to be honest with me. And even after that he still denied it. When he was caught though he had no choice but to sing like a canary. I have huge doubts your husband would come clean with you until you put the evidence down infront of him.
If I were you I would wait and see if he logs in and what happens. I just don't get how he could be dumb enough to do all this using his real email while knowing you have his passwords. At least be creative and use a secondary email account. It makes me wonder if in a way he wants to get caught or something. I mean why do that, why not have the cops confiscate it? You have to know I would go through it and catch you. It was like he wanted to have it out in the open subconsciously.
Maybe your husband is struggling with some dark demons and doesn't know how to get help and so he did this knowing you would catch him. I don't know maybe I'm reaching to far with this one. Hope you get some answers soon. Maybe i should try to just shut up and let him talk, because i'm usually the one who does all the talking and then he either agrees or disagrees. Mami, I completely see what you're saying. He used his regular everyday email address he has 3 emails , which i have the passwords to ALL his accounts anyways given to me freely by him when he went overseas but on top of that idiocy he also used the email account that is linked with his blackberry phone, which both he and I know sends out alerts every time he gets a new email, and then when you just pull out the phone form the protector it opens the email right up as it's the last thing to come into the phone.
Which incidental is how i saw the email. I didn't go snooping at all, his phone vibrated, i thought maybe someone was calling, took the phone out of the protector and up pops the email for the sex dating site saying welcome!
I'm mean how stupid can you be? Like i'm never going to see that? He frequently has me check the messages on the phone if it vibrates and he's on the computer or more than 3 feet away from it, so if he expected to hide it for long, I really married a moron. Of course it does make me feel better that he obviously isn't the smartest at hiding things, because you bet after I saw that email, i checked out his text messages, his phone calls his other emails everything i could.
I am not about to confront him with this with out checking through everything so i can be prepared as can be because knowing him well men in general I know he's not just going to spit out the truth if he thinks he can get away with it.
Ugh i guess i'm out of my sad phase and back to pissed. Now just got to calm down so I can just generally and unsuspiciously ask him if he thinks our marriage is going good and what i can change to make it better or what we both can do.
Oh and as a plus note, i decided to add a keystroke program to the computer, i'm not taking any chances here at all. He's not the only one who can be sneaky in this house.