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Mixed feelings when dating

Mixed feelings when dating

We, as people, have a difficult time understanding each other, especially when it comes to dating and relationships. Dating and relationships are hard enough, even with great communication. Misunderstandings cause us to build on sand. Trust becomes difficult to produce and keeps healthy and lasting love at a distance. Mixed signals leave two people reacting to false information. Add to that our ego and fear of being vulnerable, and our dating experience or relationship can go south pretty quickly.

When you add to the mix texts, social media, dating apps, and emails, there is even more room to miscommunicate. I am totally guilty of falling into this trap; I still struggle with it. Then, of course, you find out the truth: They were in a meeting. They were swamped at work. They forgot their phone today. Their ringer was off. If their response time goes from a few minutes to two days, yeah, something has changed — most likely feelings.

And you may not be happy about it, but you get it. Not giving someone an answer is an answer. But when the inconsistencies are subtle, like minutes turning into hours, or the tone and energy changing, it can drive us nuts.

So what do you do when you notice a slight delay or change in tone? The truth will eventually float to the top. I have a friend who will engage in lightning-speed text banter for hours, then suddenly go dark and completely ignore a question I asked for days. At first, I was offended hurt and questioned our friendship. Without even talking to him or getting the facts, I made a decision to distance myself. I took it very personally. Our relationship in person was great.

Or your date may be waiting for the perfect moment because they fear rejection. Then again, the first date may not have ignited fireworks. So try not to put so much weight on when the kiss lands.

But I get it: Not getting affection returned can be hurtful and lead to questions. The bottom line is everyone has their own comfort levels, and that may not be tied to how they feel about you.

I used to believe this; it was the fuel of many unwarranted fights. They may not be used to expressing themselves. Usually, people in this category just need some time. They need to think about their thoughts, so that they can respond instead of just react. Not everyone is wired the same. Time makes people less reactive. That being said, they do have to eventually come back to the issue to discuss it, or they probably are avoiding. Not everyone wants to have sex all the time.

We have long days that leave us mentally and physically exhausted. We have issues with our bodies. But so many of us instantly internalize when our partner shies away from our sexual advances. Or maybe they actually do mean it. Would you rather they say it back because they mean it, or because they feel like they have to? You said it when you meant it; now allow them to say it when they feel the same.

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Mixed Signals?



Mixed feelings when dating

We, as people, have a difficult time understanding each other, especially when it comes to dating and relationships. Dating and relationships are hard enough, even with great communication. Misunderstandings cause us to build on sand.

Trust becomes difficult to produce and keeps healthy and lasting love at a distance. Mixed signals leave two people reacting to false information.

Add to that our ego and fear of being vulnerable, and our dating experience or relationship can go south pretty quickly. When you add to the mix texts, social media, dating apps, and emails, there is even more room to miscommunicate. I am totally guilty of falling into this trap; I still struggle with it. Then, of course, you find out the truth: They were in a meeting.

They were swamped at work. They forgot their phone today. Their ringer was off. If their response time goes from a few minutes to two days, yeah, something has changed — most likely feelings. And you may not be happy about it, but you get it.

Not giving someone an answer is an answer. But when the inconsistencies are subtle, like minutes turning into hours, or the tone and energy changing, it can drive us nuts. So what do you do when you notice a slight delay or change in tone? The truth will eventually float to the top. I have a friend who will engage in lightning-speed text banter for hours, then suddenly go dark and completely ignore a question I asked for days. At first, I was offended hurt and questioned our friendship.

Without even talking to him or getting the facts, I made a decision to distance myself. I took it very personally.

Our relationship in person was great. Or your date may be waiting for the perfect moment because they fear rejection. Then again, the first date may not have ignited fireworks.

So try not to put so much weight on when the kiss lands. But I get it: Not getting affection returned can be hurtful and lead to questions. The bottom line is everyone has their own comfort levels, and that may not be tied to how they feel about you.

I used to believe this; it was the fuel of many unwarranted fights. They may not be used to expressing themselves. Usually, people in this category just need some time.

They need to think about their thoughts, so that they can respond instead of just react. Not everyone is wired the same.

Time makes people less reactive. That being said, they do have to eventually come back to the issue to discuss it, or they probably are avoiding. Not everyone wants to have sex all the time. We have long days that leave us mentally and physically exhausted. We have issues with our bodies. But so many of us instantly internalize when our partner shies away from our sexual advances.

Or maybe they actually do mean it. Would you rather they say it back because they mean it, or because they feel like they have to? You said it when you meant it; now allow them to say it when they feel the same.

Mixed feelings when dating

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2 Comments

  1. So what do you do when you notice a slight delay or change in tone? But I get it: Sometimes people hold on to a mediocre or downright toxic relationship for fear of being alone.

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