According to Cambridge Dictionary, a dating is an activity that regularly people spend time with someone they have a romantic relationship with. What is the meaning by a romantic relationship? From the definition about dating, we can see many examples of some activities that people do while dating nowadays. We can find many couples do dating everywhere. They usually take some advantages from holiday and weekend. A girl will not think several times to accept their boyfriend asking to date.
The society will also not disturb them and seem like do nothing of this situation. It looks like habitual daily activity that is not taboo anymore. For the result, pregnancies before marriage often occur in our surrounding. Who will be blamed in this condition? Many factors involve this condition actually.
Using of internet, watching the vulgar content of television program, and decreasing moral value in our societies become the top three of some that factors. You may also read: We also have known in the Al-Quran there are many verses about dating. For instance, you may check surah Al-Isro: There are a lot of verses in Al-Quran that ban dating before marriage.
But surprisingly, mostly Muslims do date before marriage. From teenager till adolescent are not shy anymore to date in public. Why could it be occurred?
We cannot blame just from one side, from the activists may be. We have to think clearly that this situation could not be occurred if the societies still hold Al-quran values in their daily activities. Unfortunately, they just change the name without change the content. How can we do this?
Control Your Own Feeling Falling in love with another is normal. Islam also tells people to love every creature. If you have special feeling with someone, you have to think whether it will be told or not. Telling someone about your feeling has own risk. May you will be accepted or rejected. In Islam if you have special feeling with someone the only way to make it halal relationship is by marriage.
Do The Right Taaruf You have stable income, enough knowledge, and have special feeling with someone, what should you do? Should you tell her about your feeling, do dating for some times, then decide to marry her or may break the relationship? The ending of the romantic relationship are to break or to marry. Firstly you make her fly then other day you pain her heart deeply.
How hurt your action is! In the other side, if you decide to end your relationship by marrying her, is that any guarantee for you to make your marriage happily ever after? Many evidences we can found in this real life. Couples who were in the relationship in several years, then decided to marry, they force only in several months. So, what are the advantages of dating before marriage?
But, after regarding some true stories about it, can the dating before marriage play those roles? So, what can you do to make sure that you have chosen the right girl? Islam tells us to do Taaruf. Is it the same as dating? Big no is the answer. Look at some activities in the Taaruf as the basic of Islamic dating rules: Follow your feeling or try to get If you have a special one that you want to marry with, so you can skip this part and next to the second one.
Asking for help to people that you trust and know well to look for your girl, or you can make a proposal consists of your biography then ask them to give it to a girl who they are recommended.
The girl will do the same, or you can get the information from your people. Based on the basic information, you and she can make a decision whether you want to continue to the next steps or not. If you or she will not, so you will stop in this step. But if both of you will, you can continue to the next steps. Which kind of dating that is allowed in Islam? Although you have a good intention, you also should do in the right way.
Before marrying her, you should know and may ask some questions about general to emphasize your feeling. But, the requirement is you and her are not allowed meet without mahrom.
You can go with your friends, family, or people who you trust to. She also has the same right. In this meeting both of you can ask everything that is important to your future marriage.
No like an usual dating that you can have no limitation to have the relationship, this step has limitation time that is decided by you and her in the first meeting.
Usually people decided the longest time is about three months. You also have to get permission from your parents, so does the girl has to give her parents the information about you. If both of you get the match, you can continue to the next level, or it called Khitbah in Islam. You should come to her parents and asking for permission. In this step, both of your family and hers can discuss your marriage. The Halal Dating After you have passed all of steps, you can marry her.
You can do dating after that. Dating after marriage is sweeter than before, you and she can do anything. Moreover, more you express your feeling with her more you will get reward from Allah. The sin that you can get from dating before marriage you can change become reward by dating after marriage.
How wonderful it is. It will keep not only purity of your body but also your heart. It also will distance you from immorality of dating. Even though devil is always support you to violate Allah rules, and as we know dating before marriage is also violate Allah rules.
Dating before marriage will give you those hurt. Although, the happiness will be presented first that make you think if wonderful romantic relationship will you get till the end. You are strongly wrong, have relationship without any engagement will hurt both of you. Keep your friendship As a social creature, human need another to survive and stay alive.
You may not be allowed to take your time to another. How terrible it is. You lost your love and also your friend. Both of you hurt each other exactly. So I can say, that you boy deliberately hurt your special one, and you girl deliberately allow someone to hurt your heart. Her face appears every time in your mind. You cannot focus in your work, just want to meet or even see her.
Totally you think illogical. Besides, you are still teenager or there are some factors that are not allowed you to marry.
What should you do? Getting closer to Allah According to me before, having special feeling with another is normal. Getting closer to Allah may will help you to forget her, control your emotion and your feeling. You can express your feeling by obey Allah rules, because your love of Allah will give you confidential and other advantages.
You can try to do Dhuha prayer for example, you can do from One day one Juz program is also effective. You will spend more time to read Al-Quran every day. Not only can forget your feeling, this way also gives you a comfort feeling.
What are the other advantages by getting closer to Allah? If we have considered about that, will we still think about another? Of course we will do everything to obey Allah rules, as our thanks to Allah.
It means, to get everything in this world, getting closer to Allah is the best way. Focus on your dream As young people, you have many dreams for your future, right? Because your dreaming cannot be exist with a blink of an eye.