Print Back in May, Old Navy tweeted an ad for a 30 per cent off coupon with the image of a white man, a Black woman and a child. These models posing as an interracial family sparked an internet uproar about miscegenation.
Joel Edgerton and Ruth Negga play the interracial couple, whose marriage was illegal according to their home state of Virginia's anti-miscegenation laws. They took their case to the Supreme Court in a landmark civil rights fight that they won in Same with gay marriage. As a society we have a much more extended period of acceptance, a process that we need to go through. A National Household Survey shows that Canada has approximately , mixed unions 4. Won't it be nice when we don't? Whispers are something I've noticed in my own relationship.
My wife is half-Polish, half-Peruvian, and we've been together for 15 years. We've had some odd experiences: And I've also had to deal with my family's expectation that I would stick to our culture and caste.
Yes, that's also still a thing. Even in the world's most multicultural city, tensions arise from the potpourri of mixed unions between ethnicities and religions. But they ask because they have no expectations about what the answer might be. Jermaine is from Jamaica, Karol from Honduras, and both were raised by mothers who couldn't have cared less about the colour of the person their children would spend the rest of their lives with.
The couple are raising their two boys in a community that looks very much like them. Karol and Jermaine are close friends she was a bridesmaid at my wedding , and the thing about our social circle is that we're all in mixed unions.
As I gauge this topic with them, we're stumped to name anyone among us who's in a relationship with a person of the same race. The couple say they rarely even take notice when they see other interracial couples, but there are exceptions.
You don't see it often. While South Asians and Chinese represent the two largest visible minority groups in Canada, the National Household Survey shows that they are the least represented in mixed unions. The survey also suggests that about 85 per cent of Canada's mixed unions involve a person from a visible minority group and a white person, as opposed to two people of colour, a revealing stat that hints at the discrimination between minorities.
For instance, South Asian or Chinese parents are sometimes willing to accept a mixed union between their child and someone white. But bringing home a Black partner could make them go nuclear. That sort of racial hierarchy, passed down from colonial times, is not just in the mindset of parents. A younger generation shares those biases. Dating site OKCupid has been reporting its users' racial preferences for years. Those people of colour willing to date outside their race show a strong preference for whites and a troubling disinterest in Blacks and South Asians.
So, yeah, even interracial dating preferences can be racist. They've travelled the world and noticed that shade toward interracial couples comes in all sorts of accents.
During their honeymoon in Antigua, some of the hotel staff had a hard time serving a West Indian man who'd married a white woman. They list a number of racist moments: Getting off a train in Sydney, the couple noticed a construction worker watching them and moving their way as they crossed the platform toward the escalator. He just stared me down the whole escalator ride. I stood my ground and waited till we got off for him to move along.
Every shade of beige, brown, yellow and white were all together as couples. It made me really happy to see that kind of progress. Joanne is Chinese and the youngest sibling in a family that had already broken down the interracial barriers. But Ari knew his parents thought only a Tamil girl could treat him right.
And he was also aware that his dad would worry about what shade the monolithic Tamil community in Toronto might throw at a prodigal son who married out. When Ari announced his plan to move in with Joanne, with nuptials to follow, his mother cried. But that just took Ari and Joanne to the next cultural battleground: Anyone who's been to a South Asian wedding knows it involves an elaborate showcase and infinite guest list, something the young couple refused to shoulder.
The couple instead set up a lovely, intimate, non-denominational ceremony last May with 75 close friends and family. They also gave Ari's parents the opportunity to host a follow-up reception to their liking, provided the parents covered those costs.
It's so nice to hear that others had to suffer about haggling over guest lists, multiple meetings about what tradition or religious deeds needed to be abandoned and why the traditional red sari must be ditched. Putting on a sari isn't like putting on a dress and zipping it up.
It's a two-person job. It meant she had to disappear for 45 minutes during our reception, just as the party was jumping off with some sick soca. Their wedding s are behind them, so I warn Ari and Joanne about the final cultural real estate: Everyone has an opinion on the customs and lessons you must instill.
They don't have to deal with that now. Ari's parents have yet to visit their home, but the couple are happy to report some warming-up to Joanne. If you kill them with kindness, what are they going to do? They gave him an ultimatum: Almost five years earlier, Arminder was ready for a traditional arranged marriage to a Sikh girl.
Tania, from El Salvador, was open to a relationship with just about anybody but had never imagined dating a Sikh guy. The two worked at a factory putting together circuit boards.
Tania's embarrassed to admit she used to make "terrorist" jokes about Arminder's turban and long beard. He trims it now. But after a year of lunchroom chats, a relationship bloomed. They knew things would be difficult. Tania's older sister warned her that Arminder could leave her if his parents force an arranged marriage on him something that sadly does happen. She trusted him anyway. When Arminder told his parents about the relationship after three years of hiding it, they forbade it.
The couple pretended to break up, and Arminder worked toward a stable career so they'd consider him responsible enough to make his own decisions. They hid their relationship for another year - until it got too big to hide, precipitating the break with his family. Though they moved into their own space, the couple ended up not getting married, because Arminder didn't want a ceremony that fell short of what he'd hoped for.
He may have broken from his family, but Arminder never let go of his heritage. After a couple of months, Tania insisted it was time their child met her grandparents.
Arminder refused to go without her. He called his mother, the decision-maker in a patriarchal household, and she agreed to welcome the new family into her home. It was the first time Tania had ever met them. We have so many pictures of that day, with Arminder's mom holding my daughter and just staring at her face.
The grandparents took on babysitting duties. And when Tania was expecting her second daughter, Arminder's parents invited the couple to move in. There was some reluctance. They wanted their kids and grandkids to have the same upbringing and beliefs.
That's the kind of thing you pass down from generations. No matter what colour or religion you come from, I think every parent and grandparent wants that. I know they are good-hearted people. Seeing me, their oldest child, go away was a heartbreaker for them. When we came back into the picture with a new granddaughter, it was special. The household compromises between meat-eaters and vegetarians; rotis and pupusas; speaking Punjabi, Spanish and English; Catholic mass and the Sikh temple the kids attend both.
Tania goes out some nights with friends despite her father-in-law's puzzled looks. Juggling two cultures, particularly when deciding what to teach the kids, is an effort. But Arminder credits constant communication for making it work. Right now, the couple have another quandary.
They have a third child, a son, and are deciding whether to cut his hair for the first time or let it grow out so the boy can work toward a turban. I want him to experience it. She's not keen on the long hair, the maintenance or the look, so she's getting the shears ready. But she's assured Arminder that ultimately the child will decide. As Greg DeRoche explains, it's a minority group with its own minorities. So you're picking that up and putting it into another minority community.
Greg laughs that his old community in Picton probably got a double whammy when he brought home a man who also happened to be Black. The two got engaged in June while visiting Winston's family in Bermuda. That's when this happy Toronto couple became a modern-day Richard and Mildred Loving. Same-sex marriage isn't recognized in Bermuda, which is why Greg and Winston planned to marry here.