It actually pains me to admit why I feel qualified to write about this. And often, also subconsciously, women let it happen, over and over again, in the hope that the man in question may actually like them. On the dating blog 30 Dates , Miss Twenty-Nine describes a now-platonic friendship with a former Tinder interest, who revealed to her upon finally meeting as friends that he saw the app as little more than a game. He told her that he never really thought of the person he was chatting to.
And she was right about everything she said. At that time, I was chatting to all sorts of girls and a few caught my eye, for differing reasons. But the common denominator was that I enjoyed the attention from all of them.
Men chatting to women on a dating app for the sheer fun of it is just one example of the ways a guy can lead a lady on.
We enjoy the challenge — the chase — and we also enjoy the attention. However, there is a caveat to this somewhat foreboding tale — men vary.
From thoroughly bloody nice chaps, to suave gentlemen with varying motives, to Lotharios with questionable morals, to downright cheating rats, and their motivations for dating vary as well. I believe filtering their motives from what they do and say is easier than you would imagine.
There are key indicators right from the start in the dating world — clues to identify what a guy really wants from the outset. In addition — and forgive me if this is blindingly obvious, but not all women seem to see it — you get what you pay for.
A free dating website is going to attract a significantly different clientele than a subscription site. And with that, people might have different motives for being on there. A man may text you back just to string you along. Or that he just wants to get his numbers up. Either way, you can tell when he cannot be bothered. I took time to respond to their messages, but I was deliberate with all of my interactions and made sure not to let their interest wane.
I was also balanced, trying to be entertaining whilst also trying to secure a date. If he likes you, he will make the effort to meet up. This brings me back to what I said at the start. Ladies, you get what you demand of most men.
The reality is that if a man likes you — I mean really likes you — it will be obvious. Keep your wits about you, and read the situation. Connecting with people has never been easier, but we have so many options and opportunities that it makes sense to spread out our energy and keep things low key.
And you deserve someone who is bothered. Someone who likes you will want to make you feel as though there was never anyone else for them. You never meet their friends This person would drag you into a bush before they let you bump into their own mum.
If you do see one of their colleagues at the pub, they might drop their hand, move their chair away and stare into the distance. No one lights up with recognition when you introduce yourself — but they might look slightly uncomfortable.
They avoid serious topics of conversation — especially about relationships They drop dark hints about their unreliability, commitment issues and hereditary tendency to get rashes.