I enjoy reading all of this blog, and it has stopped me from boggling my mind about a few things! Should I assume this is one of those. If you want to know why your email correspondence online is generally flat and falls apart after a few emails, you have to look in the mirror and take responsibility for your part in it.
Just today, I was on the phone with a client who was sharing the same experience with me: What am I supposed to say? He asked her a silly question and started grilling her with more and more trivia questions, teasing her about what she might win if she got all the questions right.
I asked this client what made this email exchange different from the other exchanges. But look at the emails you write back to the boring men. I mean, from the majority of your emails, you sound really boring, too. And yet this one guy with the trivia questions was able to bring out your playful side. This is equally true on dates. By being optimistic, playful, interested and interesting, you can almost always transform any evening into a pleasant experience.
And yet most of us get online and wonder why it always feels so stale. As explained in great detail in this article , most emails sound like they could have been pre-written by anyone in the world. Here is one short email that makes 11 mistakes in only a couple of lines. See if you are guilty of doing any of the following. Dear X 1 I just read your profile 2 and thought it was really great 3. I also thought you were cute 4 and loved the fact that you go hiking with your brothers every summer.
I do the same with my best friends. Anyway, check out my profile 6 and see if you like what you read 7. If you want to know anything more about me, just ask. Better to start off with something engaging right from the get go.
Otherwise, why would you be writing to her? So does every other guy on here. And remember, keep it light. Could you imagine having such serious conversations with a stranger at a party? You look very attractive. I think we have a lot in common — particularly our mutual love of rum punch. Would you like my phone number and to learn more about me? Imagine saying that in real life! No wonder the conversation goes nowhere! And studies show that confidence and humor are the two most desirable qualities in both men AND women.
So instead of playing the blame game and pointing fingers at people who take a long time to email, or say nothing interesting, or write only one line, step up and try a little harder yourself. You may be shocked how those same people become a lot more interested and interesting when you give them more to work with.
I like Bruce Springsteen! What part of New Jersey has an Oklahoma accent? So while I will acknowledge that being hot and stupid is more effective than being ugly and fascinating, the truth lies somewhere in between. So do yourself a favor, Dwayne: Check out my CD series if you really want to get the best results out of your online dating experience.