You have a solid intellect, a collection of knowledge, and perhaps you even have an area of specialized knowledge, where you know more about human physiology, the guts of a computer, or the inner workings of the gas turbine engine than the vast majority of other humans. In other words, you have badass knowledge. Does this badass knowledge help you attract people?
People are impressed by education, by expertise. I know I do. When watched the show Friends, I wanted to hear everything Ross had to say about paleontology, while some of his friends rolled their eyes.
But there were times when Ross was more dogmatic than educational, and it annoyed people. And like I talked about on Day 10 , people care more about how you make them feel than what you know. Examples I once knew a guy who decided he was going to go to med school, took his first biology class, and learned what all biology students must learn: After years of bio classes in college, I knew about the number of ATPs the cycle generated.
He would barely listen to me explain that the number is an estimate. He was too busy being a know-it-all. Did you ever see the episode of Big Bang Theory where Leonard, a scientist, got in an argument with Penny because she believed in astrology and he thought it was stupid? To him, there were only 2 options: Most of the advice was good; however, several of them went askew by warning that they, as scientists with PhDs, would exercise their right to be arrogant know-it-alls.
Apparently, some scientists are so immersed in science that they cannot fathom any other way of thinking.
How many of you IBs have strong ideas about religion, about the role of government, about whether humans are intended to eat meat or intended to be monogamous? The problem is, no matter what you believe, there are others — including other smart people — who disagree. Am I suggesting that you hide your knowledge or pretend to agree when your date says something you disagree with?
Like I talked about on Day 3 , you must own your unique awesomeness, and that includes your knowledge and beliefs. And part of social skills is knowing how to be smart, even brilliant, without coming off like a condescending ass-munch. Many IBs have no problem with this; but others struggle.
Let people be who they are. You can stand by your beliefs, but let others do the same. This is a date, not a courtroom. Remember, dating is about connecting with someone. To do this, you want to be yourself and show who you are, but you also want to make others feel comfortable and valued in your presence.
Have you ever met someone who cared more about being right than hearing your point of view?