Even if my voice shakes. My name is Rebecca and I work here in the admissions center at Addiction Campuses. I answer calls, save lives by helping people get into treatment, and I put families back together. In order to save you, I have to tell it like it is — and sometimes, that means I have to hurt your feelings. Unfortunately for you, I am not afraid to do this.
To stop the enabling. I know the truth hurts. It could be you, or a loved one. You know which lies. I need you to listen so I can save you. I am going to get tough with my responses because often times that is the only way I can get past the wall of excuses and fear that people have built around themselves.
This is my job. I believe you when you say your son sustained a back injury 12 years ago. And for 12 years some knucklehead with a prescription pad has been giving him pain pills for his back. Let me ask you a few very important questions: After all these years the pain is worse? The truth of the matter is that when we have an injury, we seek a solution.
If the answer is surgery, then, by all means, find a surgeon and fix that herniated disk or whatever it is. But then you heal and you move on. Your pain is gone and you can go back to work and live a productive life. Why is your son not doing that? Because your son is not still suffering from an event that happened years and years ago. I watched one of the best men I ever knew die of cancer. I had the honor and privilege to care for him until he took his last breath on Earth. I have never witnessed anyone in so much pain.
Do you know that he never asked once for his prescribed dose of narcotics? He wanted to be present and in order to be present — he bravely endured the intense pain of death. Is your son in that much physical pain? I understand that every time you look at your daughter you want to see that big eyed five-year-old girl that thought you hung the moon.
What I am about to tell you is going to hurt even more. They date people with jobs. There are different brands of synthetic urine kits to help you pass drug test.
Because you have to deal with the now. And the now is pretty ugly. You need to know: Your daughter is addicted to drugs and she needs treatment. You may be able to get her to break up with this boyfriend, but there will be another boyfriend—and he will be addicted, too. Until we treat the disease, the addiction will remain. The good news it I promise to get her far, far away from him. I really can do that. She needs the drugs more than she needs him and will do what she can to maintain her high.
She will eventually be arrested for possession with intent to distribute. He will get arrested and he will go to jail. She will finish using what drugs are left and then she will need money. She will call you. She will call her Dad. She will try to sell things from your house. You will have to change your locks. She will turn to prostitution. It will be something little at first — maybe she finds a new drug dealer and offers sexual favors for drugs.
But he will want more from her. Maybe he shares your daughter with his friends. Maybe he decides to pimp her out and make a little money off of her. If she refuses, maybe that dope man will come knocking on your door because she owes him money. Before she knows it — her beautiful life living in the safe haven of your home, your arms — is only something she dreams about when she has a chance to sleep.
Sleep is the only time her old life comes to her and it hurts. So she stays high. Like I said, there IS good news! You came to the right place. I have children to take care of. Let me start with this, Momma. You are not a bad mom. You are not a horrible person. You are a lovable person who is caught in the throes of addiction. No one plans for addiction. This is the most brutal truth I have ever have to tell anyone.
What are you doing to do when your baby gets a cold and stops breathing in the middle of the night? Are you going to stumble to the car and drive blindly to the ER? Think you will make it safely?
What about when your baby falls out of his bed and accidentally breaks his arm? Will you fall down the stairs as you carry him to the car making everything worse? Mom, what happens if your sweet baby simply has a terrible, scary nightmare? Will you be lucid enough to go to him? To be his safe place in a scary world. And finally, let me ask you this. What if your child finds you overdosed? What if your sweet, innocent baby girl finds you passed out in a pool of your own vomit?
Everyone already knows, Mom. This is the ugly, nasty, dirty truth about addiction that I need you to see.
No one wants to actively hurt their loved ones. But let me love you, today. I will love you better. All is not lost. I will say that again, all is not lost.
Your call to me today is the first step. Now let me help you pick up the pieces. Let me help you put your family back together. Let me help you save your life. You came to the right place and I am fully confident that today is the day you or your loved one to regain control, to kick the addiction and to live the beautiful life that we all deserve to live.
There is a way out — and I know what it is.