Dating with borderline personality disorder. Here’s what it’s like to be in a relationship with someone with Borderline Personality Disorder.



Dating with borderline personality disorder

Dating with borderline personality disorder

While someone with depression or anxiety may feel that they are experiencing symptoms that are different from their normal state, people with personality disorders often fail to realize that their emotions and reactions depart from the typical human experience. People with borderline personality disorder BPD struggle to understand how wives, husbands, friends, and other family members experience their intense reactions, mood swings, and risky behavior.

Needless to say, if you have a loved one with BPD, life can be fraught with crises and conflict. You may wonder whether you should let them borrow money again or answer the dozens of voicemails they left on your phone. Dealing with borderline personality disorder requires skills for deescalating crises and fostering independence in your loved one.

With the right tools and community strategies, it is possible to help your loved one towards recovery. Article continues below Concerned about Borderline Personality Disorder? Take our 2-minute quiz to see if you may benefit from further diagnosis and treatment. Take BPD Quiz Signs and Symptoms Only a doctor or mental health professional can officially provide an official diagnosis of a personality disorder, but there are several key symptoms you can observe that might indicate a person has BPD.

Some studies suggest that there is a genetic component, meaning the disorder can be hereditary. Hostile family environments, childhood abuse and neglect, and separation from caregivers can also increase the risk. Some research indicates BPD can emerge when parts of the brain that help regulate emotions and aggressive impulses are not functioning well. Psychotherapy, otherwise known as talk therapy, can be incredibly valuable for treating BPD.

In addition to learning about the signs and symptoms of the disorder, individuals can gain skills for managing difficult emotions, developing and maintaining relationships, reducing impulsive decision-making, and improving daily functioning. The therapy helps people change unhealthy patterns of behavior by becoming more mindful about the emotions and reactions they are experiencing in the moment.

To date there are no drugs approved by the FDA that have been specifically created to treat personality disorders. However, some people find that medications can help reduce anxiety or impulsivity in individuals. These might include antidepressants, mood-stabilizers, and antipsychotic medications. If an individual with BPD experience intense symptoms, such as self-injury or physically harming others, they may be in need of inpatient treatment at a hospital or other residential program.

How should I structure the home environment? People with BPD benefit from a home environment that is calm and relaxed. All involved family members including a boyfriend or girlfriend should know not to discuss important issues when the individual is in crisis mode. Stop to take a breath yourself when they do become emotionally reactive. People with BPD should have opportunities to talk about their interests and thoughts about the news, family events, and other leisure activities.

Take the time to laugh at a funny joke or eat dinner together several times a week. The less an individual feels like his or her mental illness is under the spotlight, the more opportunity they have to explore other aspects of themselves.

How can I communicate effectively during a crisis? When a loved one becomes reactive, they may become to insult you or make unfair accusations. The natural response is to become defensive and to match the level of reactivity. They struggle to gauge what is a minor issue and what is a full blown catastrophe. They interpret your defensiveness as not being valued. Instead, when they become reactive, take the time to listen without pointing out the flaws in their argument.

Try not to take it personally. If the person does point out something you could improve or have done wrong, acknowledge their point, apologize, and suggest a way you can improve on the matter in the future. What if they threaten to hurt themselves? A crisis is escalating if a person with BPD begins to threaten to harm themselves. Sometimes self-harm signs may be less overt, such as scratching the skin, eating less, coloring or shaving off hair, or isolating from others.

Recognizing early signs can help prevent an emotional crisis from becoming more serious or requiring medical or psychiatric attention. Instead, you invite the individual to talk about their emotions and allow yourself to gauge whether professional assistance is necessary. All threats of suicide should be taken seriously.

Even if the behavior is attention-seeking, it can result in seriously harm or even death. This sends the message that they have an enormous amount of power over all arguments. Instead, ask your family member what they would feel most comfortable doing when they threaten injury. They might want to speak with their therapist, call a hotline, or walk with you into an emergency room.

Allowing them some amount of agency in of deescalating a crisis can help calm out of control emotions. What other strategies can reduce conflict? Listening and reflecting can be the most effective strategy in communicating with someone with BPD. Though you might disagree with every word that is spoken, listening is not the same as agreeing. This type of communication is not about winning an argument or being right. What can I do when I feel overwhelmed? Carve out time to spend with friends and engage in leisure activities.

You also should consider how to involve other family members in the care and support of someone with BPD. No single person should be responsible for communicating calmly and responding to crisis situations. The more people who know effective strategies for responding to the individual, the less often crises will erupt. Will they ever completely recover? Unlike with physical illness, recovery has a different meaning when it comes to mental health.

Recovery does not imply the total elimination of symptoms, the lack of need for medication or therapy, and functioning comparable to persons without the disorder. Recovery from Borderline personality disorder looks like fewer threats of self-harm, reduction of frequency of emotional outbursts, and a decrease in the intensity of reactivity. Relapse may occur, but crises will resolve quickly and you will feel more prepared to handle the situation. In turn, your loved one will feel encouraged to take small but steady steps towards a fuller and healthier life.

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You Can Spot a Borderline From a Mile Away



Dating with borderline personality disorder

While someone with depression or anxiety may feel that they are experiencing symptoms that are different from their normal state, people with personality disorders often fail to realize that their emotions and reactions depart from the typical human experience. People with borderline personality disorder BPD struggle to understand how wives, husbands, friends, and other family members experience their intense reactions, mood swings, and risky behavior.

Needless to say, if you have a loved one with BPD, life can be fraught with crises and conflict. You may wonder whether you should let them borrow money again or answer the dozens of voicemails they left on your phone.

Dealing with borderline personality disorder requires skills for deescalating crises and fostering independence in your loved one. With the right tools and community strategies, it is possible to help your loved one towards recovery. Article continues below Concerned about Borderline Personality Disorder? Take our 2-minute quiz to see if you may benefit from further diagnosis and treatment.

Take BPD Quiz Signs and Symptoms Only a doctor or mental health professional can officially provide an official diagnosis of a personality disorder, but there are several key symptoms you can observe that might indicate a person has BPD. Some studies suggest that there is a genetic component, meaning the disorder can be hereditary. Hostile family environments, childhood abuse and neglect, and separation from caregivers can also increase the risk. Some research indicates BPD can emerge when parts of the brain that help regulate emotions and aggressive impulses are not functioning well.

Psychotherapy, otherwise known as talk therapy, can be incredibly valuable for treating BPD. In addition to learning about the signs and symptoms of the disorder, individuals can gain skills for managing difficult emotions, developing and maintaining relationships, reducing impulsive decision-making, and improving daily functioning.

The therapy helps people change unhealthy patterns of behavior by becoming more mindful about the emotions and reactions they are experiencing in the moment.

To date there are no drugs approved by the FDA that have been specifically created to treat personality disorders. However, some people find that medications can help reduce anxiety or impulsivity in individuals. These might include antidepressants, mood-stabilizers, and antipsychotic medications. If an individual with BPD experience intense symptoms, such as self-injury or physically harming others, they may be in need of inpatient treatment at a hospital or other residential program.

How should I structure the home environment? People with BPD benefit from a home environment that is calm and relaxed. All involved family members including a boyfriend or girlfriend should know not to discuss important issues when the individual is in crisis mode.

Stop to take a breath yourself when they do become emotionally reactive. People with BPD should have opportunities to talk about their interests and thoughts about the news, family events, and other leisure activities. Take the time to laugh at a funny joke or eat dinner together several times a week. The less an individual feels like his or her mental illness is under the spotlight, the more opportunity they have to explore other aspects of themselves.

How can I communicate effectively during a crisis? When a loved one becomes reactive, they may become to insult you or make unfair accusations. The natural response is to become defensive and to match the level of reactivity. They struggle to gauge what is a minor issue and what is a full blown catastrophe. They interpret your defensiveness as not being valued.

Instead, when they become reactive, take the time to listen without pointing out the flaws in their argument. Try not to take it personally. If the person does point out something you could improve or have done wrong, acknowledge their point, apologize, and suggest a way you can improve on the matter in the future. What if they threaten to hurt themselves? A crisis is escalating if a person with BPD begins to threaten to harm themselves. Sometimes self-harm signs may be less overt, such as scratching the skin, eating less, coloring or shaving off hair, or isolating from others.

Recognizing early signs can help prevent an emotional crisis from becoming more serious or requiring medical or psychiatric attention. Instead, you invite the individual to talk about their emotions and allow yourself to gauge whether professional assistance is necessary. All threats of suicide should be taken seriously. Even if the behavior is attention-seeking, it can result in seriously harm or even death. This sends the message that they have an enormous amount of power over all arguments.

Instead, ask your family member what they would feel most comfortable doing when they threaten injury. They might want to speak with their therapist, call a hotline, or walk with you into an emergency room. Allowing them some amount of agency in of deescalating a crisis can help calm out of control emotions.

What other strategies can reduce conflict? Listening and reflecting can be the most effective strategy in communicating with someone with BPD. Though you might disagree with every word that is spoken, listening is not the same as agreeing.

This type of communication is not about winning an argument or being right. What can I do when I feel overwhelmed? Carve out time to spend with friends and engage in leisure activities. You also should consider how to involve other family members in the care and support of someone with BPD. No single person should be responsible for communicating calmly and responding to crisis situations.

The more people who know effective strategies for responding to the individual, the less often crises will erupt. Will they ever completely recover?

Unlike with physical illness, recovery has a different meaning when it comes to mental health. Recovery does not imply the total elimination of symptoms, the lack of need for medication or therapy, and functioning comparable to persons without the disorder. Recovery from Borderline personality disorder looks like fewer threats of self-harm, reduction of frequency of emotional outbursts, and a decrease in the intensity of reactivity.

Relapse may occur, but crises will resolve quickly and you will feel more prepared to handle the situation. In turn, your loved one will feel encouraged to take small but steady steps towards a fuller and healthier life.

Dating with borderline personality disorder

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5 Comments

  1. The first is mood disorders such as depression , anxiety, or PTSD. There is no telling them what to do, so the best option is to leave as peacefully as possible.

  2. In the world of dating the terms crazy, needy, psycho and whack-job get thrown around. All involved family members including a boyfriend or girlfriend should know not to discuss important issues when the individual is in crisis mode. Some of the comments hit home because, from an early age, I have had an extremely tempestuous love life, but I also know it can work if both partners learn to understand each other.

  3. This is not helpful and certainly not an easy quality to deal with in someone you share your life with, but the key to it working is understanding why the person does the things they do so you can work together to help them. I always found jobs but had no career or goals.

  4. The second are personality disorders such as borderline, narcissistic, sociopathic, and obsessive-compulsive.

  5. Personality disorders are often fixed coping mechanisms that are both biologically and environmentally crystalized.

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