Dating with Dignity Part 3: So, we broke up. And it took me completely by surprise. In Dating with Dignity Part 1 , I told you about a boyfriend who disappeared on me, and how I came to terms with it and moved on — with the help of a little website called datingwithdignity.
In Dating with Dignity Part 2 , I told you about all the new lessons I took back into the dating world to land myself a truly nice guy.
After well over a decade of marriage including two kids , which ended for reasons beyond his control, I was literally the first person he went on a date with after they decided to split. He made out as though he was completely ready to move on, and he wanted to move on with me.
I mean, what are you supposed to do if the first person you date after you split from your spouse just happens to be your next life partner? Our union was fun, effortless and mutual. I was so happy. I met his kids. All of those meetings went swimmingly. He loved my friends and family, and they loved him. They particularly loved me with him, and thought we made a great couple. Naturally, I was starting to relax into the relationship. And then, unbeknownst to me, a storm started brewing… MNG was not as ready for a new relationship, or as ready for a new relationship with me, or both, as he made out.
Unfortunately, instead of discussing his feelings with me or making the decision to break up, he just started pulling away. With all the dignity I could muster considering my emotional state, I tried to pull out of the relationship as quickly, fairly and open-mindedly as possible. I then put us on a no-contact break to give him the space I knew he needed. He had a new girlfriend within weeks.
Should you date a separated man or woman? In the aftermath, I did some research and discovered that what happened with me and MNG was pretty textbook. If a man begins dating during this phase, things will often go fine until the reality of the divorce hits him — then things disintegrate as he begins to face the storm. She goes on to caution against dating separated men altogether: Often, they have little to offer a woman looking for something long term.
Every man is different. Every separation and divorce is different. Strong communication is the glue that keeps relationships together So, apart from being wary of separated men, what else did I learn? That was perhaps a little premature. The all-important step of living together before marriage Finally, what are your thoughts on living together before marriage? Kinks need to be ironed out. Top three lessons to take into my next relationship So, there you go: Beware of entering into a serious relationship with a separated or recently divorced man.
Find a fearless communicator. Three great lessons for me to take into my next relationship. As they say, it takes two to tango — and I need a willing tango partner. Yes, I was happy. However, I felt as though we were blossoming as a couple, and would continue to do so over time. But perhaps, in the end, my gut instinct was yet again irritatingly accurate. In the meantime, how about a little inspiration and escape from dating, relationships and breakups?
Grab a cup of tea or coffee, sit back and enjoy one of my favourite YouTube videos of all time only 10min. My partner David, and I have been together for over two years, living together for one year, and planning to get married in MNG having a change of heart was the greatest blessing in disguise.
Had we stayed together, I probably would have ended up in pleasant but far less fulfilling marriage. Did you enjoy this article about breakups, separated men, and dating with dignity? Join the party below… Leave a Comment Your email address will not be published.
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