I am 29 years old. I started dating NB a coworker after I broke up with my previous boyfriend who decided to run drugs through the house. Needless to say, I wasn't looking for anything more than a little fun and to get my groove back, a la Stella. NB and I have been dating 1.
In the beginning, I felt like he was moving along way too fast almost like a puppy following along. He said he loved me within two weeks of hanging out.
Being the older, more experienced dater, I reminded him that it was too early to be in love and I wasn't even sure he knew what love was. He was always pulling me towards him and I was pushing him away - my walls were built immensely high after being lied to by the drug pusher boyfriend.
Anyhow, I started really falling in love with NB and could actually see us working as a long-term married couple. The last few fights we got into before the big one was me wanting to know where we stood with regards to long-term. I wasn't looking for him to say "will you marry me" at that moment, but I did want some hope. I wanted him to say "i could see us being married.
NB is 3 years younger and completely unmotivated. He decided to study for the LSAT and got a really good score. I knew things were wrong when I would ask about his plans what schools he was applying to, etc and it was like pulling teeth.
At the last breakfast we had with his parents, they thanked me for helping to motivate him to do something with his life. So now I've helped this guy find direction in his life and it won't include me! The last discussion we had was the breakup.
I asked him again! I was done being led on by him. I guess where I feel the most insecure is that how could I have not seen his intentions or lack of way sooner and saved myself heartache. Yes, I'm actually crying over a boy who is too immature to commit. My family and friends all loved him. I got over the whole age difference a long time ago.
We have been broken up for 11 days now. At first I was really angry that he strung me along. Now, I wish he would contact me and explain himself. I wish my life was like a movie where he came rushing to me and declare his love - even if it scares the crap out of him.
But I know, life is never like the movies so now I have to move on and find The One.