Sometimes it feels as though everyone around you is getting married and starting families while you spend a significant amount of time swiping and recovering from hangovers.
Love should be easy but the search for it — at any age - is often fraught with anxiety and confusion. Including one-on-one coaching from Iona and daily exercises to help you sift through the issues you need to to create confidence and actually enjoy dating.
Having been single for two years, this year, I decided, was going to be the one that I found love again. At the start of the Day bootcamp I had an initial one-on-one session with Iona. Why you want to find a life partner? For me, dating is about finding my person. Realising this made me get a bit more serious about the men I was matching with. If you want to find love then you have to mean business.
Think about why you want it and commit to the search. Then look for profiles where guys have obviously taken time over them. His pictures tell a story about his life. If every picture is of him drinking, his partying days may not be over.
You have to say YES! You have to say an enthusiastic yes to dates. If you want your guy to find you, stop hiding. Before this bootcamp I was a serial date-canceller. I once cancelled four times before actually meeting a guy. Who knew dating can be fun?! In my mind, it was another date night wasted. Your reality is based on your perception. I changed my thinking: And actually go on dates! You have to KNOW that you will find your person because you're awesome. You might think you already know this — I did.
If you are crystal clear on the kind of man and relationship you're after and you still haven't found it, there is a conflict inside you we need to work through. It makes them feel good when you feel good. But when women start to develop feelings for a man, they tend to take on the role of the carer, be extra affectionate, take initiative to make plans, do all the calling and texting. All of this is ok but when you step into the role of giver, you also take that role away from the man.
Let him chase you. YOU are the catch. Men are lucky to date you. There are so many amazing men out there right now who are looking for someone just like you. They will love you for you and make you happy. Being 36 and single could suck, going on dates could fill me with anguish, I could wonder if I will, in fact, die alone but I highly doubt it. It takes one date to change your life, let it happen.