These are some of the interesting things he learnt: Japanese men may approach you subtly When Leslie, a mixed Filipina woman, met Masaki, she felt they could be very good friends. They were at an international networking party in Tokyo.
People would come to talk to them and leave, but they stuck together for the entire event. They started hanging out together, going hiking, going to the zoo and spending time in parks.
When she woke up, she realised that someone was holding her hand: After the karaoke incident, they went on a proper date. During their date, Masaki told Leslie that he loved her. There was a lot of ambiguity; they would often go out with other friends instead of just the two of them. Japanese men often send subtle messages. I think Masaki wanted to get to know her well before making a move. Leslie says that casual dating is not his thing. He always aims for a long-term relationship.
Approaching Japanese men can get you very far When Kala, an African American woman, saw the guy, she immediately knew that she wanted to meet him. At the time, Kala was teaching English in Kagoshima while learning Japanese. During their meeting in the student building, a Japanese man with an awesome haircut passed by. The whole study group started talking about how she could meet that guy, completely forgetting about studying Japanese.
They came up with a plan to help her: Their mission seemed to work well. They successfully invited the guy to join their group and he seemed to get along with them. However, there was one problem: Kala was shocked when she learnt the news. She was at an international party, and saw the guy with his girlfriend. She decided to get to know him better, and hoped that eventually things would work out. After a while, Kala threw a Thanksgiving party at her place. She obviously invited him. In fact, the Thanksgiving party was more or less an excuse to see him.
She made a special map just for him, showing the way to her house. He brought sweet potato balls to the party. Feeling bad, she started eating them herself. Thank you for bringing them! Sometime after the Thanksgiving party, Kala finally decided to ask him about his girlfriend. Shortly after, they started dating. That was more than 10 years ago. Kala is married now. Her husband is the very guy she met in Kagoshima.
They have been happily married for 9 years. All this was possible because Kala approached him actively. Women who can approach men seem to do quite well in Japan. I have the impression that many Asian men believe that non-Asian women are not into them, so they need a little bit of encouragement sometimes. But Takuya was neither fashionable nor handsome. As for Takuya, his reaction was quite the opposite: Takuya asked her on a date, but Annie instantly said no.
For her, going out with Takuya was out of the question. Besides, Annie had been approached by many handsome Japanese guys in bars and clubs, although none of her dating experience was positive. The guys from the clubs only seemed interested in sleeping with her. He asked her out again and again. Sometimes, when she was watching TV in the lounge, he would deliberately do push-ups around her to get her attention. One day, he and Annie found themselves alone. He told her that he loved her.
This made Annie think that, perhaps, she might have been too harsh on him. After all, he seemed a genuinely good guy. Annie decided to give him a chance. They went on a date to a planetarium in Shibuya.
That same night, she went to see him again and gave him a kiss on the cheek. That was her answer. Takuya gave her a very passionate hug. But a few months later, Annie had to go back to Sweden because her visa was going to expire. So he worked hard with his part-time job, saved money and followed her to Sweden.
They got married so that they could stay together, with the full support of their parents. Japanese men have a reputation for being shy, but some of them are like Takuya, who pursued the woman in his life passionately. And Japanese men confess their love Natasha, a Russian woman, remembers her first Japanese boyfriend. She met him through mutual friends and, shortly after, they went on their first date.
The guy was confused. In his mind, what he had just done was the confession of love, or kokuhaku. It was a Japanese way of asking her to be his girlfriend. That must have been quite awkward for him. Lily, a white American woman, is very familiar with the confession of love. Countless Japanese men have confessed their love to her. She is so used to it that she can always sense it when a guy is about to confess.
Masaki and Tatsuya, who I discussed earlier, also confessed their love. In my opinion, the confession of love is one of the most interesting characteristics of dating in Japan. Japanese people usually prefer defining relationships clearly from early on. Lingering around somewhere between friendship and relationship is usually discouraged.
Japanese men may not be compatible with western women in bed Some western women have expressed their disappointment with Japanese men in bed. Natasha, the Russian girl, has dated two Japanese men. Sandra, a Filipina-American woman, has friends who have dated a lot of Japanese men. According to her friend, Japanese men are very technique-oriented in bed. As a Japanese man, I can understand the technique-focused aspect. Call us geeky Asians, but a lot of information Japanese men receive about sex is technique-focused.
I noticed that a while ago, there was an increasing number of sex-related books in Japanese bookshops. Some were technique-oriented, and some took a more holistic approach, but men seem to be more interested in the technical aspects of sex. I would also like to acknowledge that Japanese people tend not to be emotionally expressive, which may affect their behavior in bed.
Sabina, a Russian woman married to a Japanese man, says sex has been good from the beginning. Lucy, a Chinese girl, likes to sleep with Japanese men. She comes to Japan regularly and finds Japanese men to date.
She says Japanese men are better in bed than Chinese men. We both thought it was good to talk about what we could do to make things better. Japanese men can do housework Japan has a bad reputation when it comes to gender equality, which is not baseless.
Takuya currently does most of the housework because Annie is the one who is working. He is still looking for a job and he often stays at home. However, not all Japanese men are keen on doing housework. If you are curious about my personal opinion as a Japanese man, I would say that for a married couple where both partners have full-time jobs, the household chores need to be shared equally.
However, I also acknowledge that in reality, things are not so simple because people have different opinions on what needs to be done, how it should be done, and how much it should be done. Hiring someone to do the housework is also a good option. Other ways of expressing dissatisfaction may include unusual silence, reluctant tone of voice, incomplete sentences and unenthusiastic affirmation.
If you are from a verbal culture, paying attention to non-verbal messages can improve your communication with Japanese people. Lily, the American girl, went on holiday in the States with her ex-boyfriend. At the time, he lived in the States and she lived in Japan yes, you read it right.