Lucy Tiven May-December romances are frequently misunderstood. When you're dating someone older, people might assume that the dynamic of the relationship is unhealthy or fundamentally unequal. To learn more about what these relationships are really like, ATTN: Here are five tips for dating someone older than you.
When your partner looks visibly older than you, people might get a little nasty. Courtney Croft, a year-old Nashville-based anthropologist married to a year-old man, explained that while she and her partner didn't encounter too many problems in their personal lives, other people didn't always react well to their relationship.
It really weirded people out. I had some people flat out say it was gross that I was with someone so much older," Croft said. Now that we've been together for five years, that happens less frequently, but when he lets his beard grow out, which is gray, and we're out in public together, we still get questioning looks from strangers.
Is it weird they're dating me a child? Just because they are older, it doesn't mean they are going to pay for everything. An older partner doesn't always equate to a sugar daddy , or mama, though—even if they have the cash. Eh, they never have for me," she recounted. Open communication is key. When you're dating someone older, it's easy to feel pressured to act older than you are.
Part of being honest with one another is accepting that it's okay to have different experiences. Being younger doesn't inherently devalue your perspective.
Be patient with one another," she explained in an email. It is also important to be clear about what you want from the relationship, even if the conversation feels a little stodgy. Croft also emphasized that communication and patience were crucial. Be open to learning from one another," she explained. You might have different pop cultural references. An age difference can mean you don't always like—or know about—the same TV shows, movies, and books.
Or any Nickelodeon TV shows. Or "Boy Meets World" Humor can also differ between older and younger partners. Experience can be a good thing. When your partner has considerably more life experience than you, it can feel a little intimidating. But it also provides opportunities and advantages you might not encounter dating someone your own age. I have found that being with someone older can provide a unique support system; he has gone through a lot of things that I am currently going through i.
She encouraged him to grow and be independent, he explained: This is one small example, but it always means a lot that she encourages me to go do my own thing because she knows that when we are together, our relationship will be that much stronger if we're both allowed the freedom to be ourselves. It's this kind of trust that, so far, is awesome. I think it part it comes from age and experience. This guy was divorced. He'd had like seven jobs whereas I had, like, two. He'd lived in three cities since [he] graduated high school, all for extended periods," Maya L.
His life experience wasn't strictly professional, either. She added, "He was good at sex.