My girlfriend flirts too much My girlfriend flirts too much I have been dating a woman for 14 months, who on a daily basis tells me she loves me. We have had a problem because she is extremely attractive and "approachable. Recently I found several suggestive text message between her and an ex boyfriend and she claims it is the way they "bust" each other.
So we are broken up because she claims I am a "Jealous Pyscho" and I misread everything. Every person I spoke to, man and woman has told me that sexual banter from an ex boyfriend when you are in a 14 month exclusive relationship is inappropriate. She wants me to trust her unconditionally. So I am looking for an expert opinion on whether to just walk away or continue to explain to her my feelings and the hurt that this and her other flirting has caused, even though she refuses to modify her behavior.
Some people are more extroverted by nature. They have more outgoing and flirtatious personalities. Being flirtatious is part of who they are and how they communicate with others.
But, just because she is flirtatious, does not necessarily mean that she is interested in other people nor does it mean that she would cheat on you see flirting. As you know, however, it can be difficult to date someone who has a very flirtatious personality, especially for people who might be prone to jealousy see anxious attachment. In such situations, it is not unusual for the person, who is flirtatious, to try and hide or conceal their actions from a disapproving partner see expectations and disapproval.
There is often a shared history and fond memories that make keeping in touch very rewarding see spouse constantly talks to ex.
With regard to the sexual nature of their exchanges, her explanation is completely legitimate. When people spend a lot of time together they develop a pattern of communication which is unique to their relationship.
This happens in all close relationships: For instance, some siblings find unusual ways to bicker, some couples develop playful ways to tease each other, and close friends can tell elaborate jokes using a just a few key words.
And once a pattern of communication gets established within a relationship, people tend to use that style or pattern as long as they know each other. For example, siblings, who talk only a few times a year, quickly fall into their childhood style of communicating when they get together as adults.
And in all likelihood, her style of communicating is probably a big part of her identity. If that is the case, then it would be very difficult for her or anyone to change.
Threatened, jealous and insecure? Such feelings often consume people, making life miserable for everyone involved see dealing with jealousy. You have a couple of options in a situation like this, but none of them are all that easy. Interpretations of situations influence our reactions. Your current interpretation probably goes something like this: Another strategy is to constantly share how you feel with your girlfriend.
By sharing your feelings and gaining a better understanding of the situation, ultimately your feelings should have less of an impact on your behavior. Hope this helps somehow.