Shares 29 A typical mistake people often make after their break-up is to start dating too soon. The unpleasant reality, unfortunately, is that if you start dating too soon after your break-up, especially when you decide to try something like online dating, you most probably will crash and burn.
Why is that so? After a break-up there is a huge void. A void that needs to be filled. The feeling of security and intimacy. The problem, however, is to find Mr or Ms. Right you have to be at peace with yourself and more or less over your Ex.
Because if you are NOT, you will compare each potential partner with your Ex and undermine every chance you had of finding that perfect partner you are looking for.
So how soon is too soon? Actually, I talk about that in great detail Invalid shortcode attributes, but the bottom line is: Another factor that especially applies if you have been out of the dating game for far too long is dating inexperience.
You will have lots of unpleasant experiences if you start online dating after years of absence from the dating game. You can either prepare yourself for women , for men or start off simple. A good idea for post break-up dating is to follow 3 simple rules: You can take my word for it. Here is a success story from our dear reader Lyndsey, who wanted to share her experiences with online dating. By Lyndsey Sahasranam After I ended my marriage, I so desperately wanted to be accepted and loved again.
I was missing the intimacy and love, and I craved it so much. I went out and put myself out on display, hoping others would find me and want me. I searched the ocean of online dating sites to see the plenty of fish available. Finding men was easy! I had 80 messages the first day. But of the last 20, only a few peaked my interest enough to hold a conversation. It felt nice at first.
Some men are preying on the vulnerable women. They are waiting, like sharks, to attack fish who may still be injured or sick. They manipulate and lie and cheat their way into the hearts of the women, only to cause more pain in the end. And then there are other men who are nice and kind but who are going through the same emotional transitions and grief as me and who are not ready to fall back into a relationship quickly after being hurt before. The love and intimacy felt good but the pain and loss of them dropping me again was intense.
I could feel my self-esteem being chipped away until I had nothing left to give. Some men told me that I was too intense. I was trying too hard. And they were right. So what I learned was this and I still need to listen to this advice myself. Sometimes you need to put your fishing rod down and go and enjoy your life. You need to hang out friends and family, who love you for who you are.
You can start to live again and fill your days and nights with all the things you love to do. You can live in the moment and start to appreciate what you already have.
You can start to love yourself and build the confidence you need to be able to go fishing again. The next time I go fishing I am going to remember that I have a choice. I can throw the fish back in the ocean. Or better still, I am hoping I never have to fish again. Perhaps the right man is out there, and he might find me while I am doing the things I love, with the people I love. I think I will know when I am ready and when it feels right to love again.
Thank you, Lyndsey, for sharing your experiences. And yes, I strongly believe that the right man for you IS out there, waiting. The same applies to all of those who are suffering from a break-up right now: Your friend, Eddie Corbano P. Have you had some post break-up experiences? Please share in the comment-section below.