The Rules Revisited I've dated countless women and it has always amazed me how little they know about men. If nothing else, this blog is an outlet for voicing my astonishment at the typical female's ignorance of the male mindset.
At most, it is a reliable source of advice for women who want to improve their chances with the opposite sex. Tuesday, July 24, No, You Can't Be "Just Friends" I've lost count of the times girls have tried being "just friends" with me after I've called off the relationship.
It's happened after one-night stands , it's happened after dating girls for a few weeks, it even happened after having a serious girlfriend. And I know this isn't only something I've experienced. Girls try this with guys all the time. It is a final grasp at the remnants of the commitment that they worked so hard for.
I am sure some guys try it with girls that dump them too, but in general I think women struggle with cutting ties more than men. It is a struggle that is analogous in some ways to a man's reluctance to make ties with a woman. Whatever the case, "just being friends" is simply not a viable way of relating to a man or woman you've been emotionally or sexually intimate with.
The severed emotional ties between you will prevent you from relating to each other in platonic ways for a long time to come - perhaps forever.
Trying to be "friends" is a recently-dumped female's way of saying "I am not ready to let go. If this happens to you, know that this is a male's way of saying one or all of a few different things: Let's keep having sex but without the commitment.
We'll call it 'being friends. I don't expect that being 'just friends' will actually work, but I know this break up won't be easy for you, so I am suggesting being friends in an attempt to soften the blow. Let's have a completely platonic relationship in which we ignore the feelings we had for one another, and even the ones we still have. I'll talk casually to you about the girls I'm dating or sleeping with, because the fact that we are "just friends" means that it won't hurt you at all to hear how replaceable you are, and how much I've moved on in such a short time.
Once we are "friends" we will immediately start seeing each other like ugly, wrinkled old men and women. Oh, and also, most importantly: It just doesn't work that way. So if a guy dumps you and says "let's just be friends," or suggests that you stay in touch, recognize that what he really means is one of the three numbered statements above, or some combination of the three. If, after being dumped , you find yourself tempted to convince your ex to be "just friends" or to "stay in touch" because he still "means a lot to you" , acknowledge the fact that you really just want to hold on to some fraction of what once was, even if it is nothing like a real relationship and will actually hurt you in the long run.
Be strong and cut him off.