Two important things to consider are: Whom do I date positive or negative person? If you are looking for a positive partner, consider going to places online and in person where you will meet other people living with HIV. These include HIV focused support groups, conferences, or dating websites such as www. Disclosure For many women living with HIV, the big issue is disclosure. How and when do you tell? There is no one easy or perfect way to tell someone you are living with HIV.
Often, it is not how or when you tell, but whom you tell. Similarly, if a person is going to accept you and your diagnosis, timing of disclosure may not matter as long as you tell before having sex. There are two main approaches to when to tell: Tell and Kiss Tell before the first kiss, often before the first date. Less emotional attachment before a possible rejection Minus side: More people find out that you have HIV Kiss and Tell Wait until after a few dates when you feel comfortable with the person.
No need to disclose to every date; more privacy Minus side: Potential "why didn't you tell me before? Not really — it is a personal choice. Tell Before Sex Although you may be tempted to wait to disclose your status until after a sexual encounter for fear of rejection or embarrassment, there are several important reasons NOT to do this: You can expose your partner to HIV Even if you practice safer sex , and even if your partner is not infected by the contact, it is illegal in many states and countries to engage in sex without disclosing.
If you have unprotected sex, you are in danger, too. Most people lose their trust in sexual partners who hide important information. How would you feel if a date waited until after the two of you had sex to mention that he or she was married?
You may increase the chances that your partner will react with anger or violence HIV Dating Tips Have "the talk" well before you find yourself in a sexual situation Tell the other person when you are both sober Read up on HIV, safer sex , and HIV transmission. It will make it easier for you to talk about living with HIV. If you date a person living with HIV, do not spend so much time caring for him or her that you do not care for yourself If you are concerned about a really negative or possibly violent reaction, consider disclosing in a public place or with a friend present Get advice from those who have done this before.
Attend a support group for women living with HIV and ask others how they handle disclosure and dating. Be prepared for rejection. It is important to remember that dating is a process of finding the right person for you. Whether or not you are living with HIV, dating almost always includes some rejection and almost everyone has some trial runs before finding that special person! It is important to remember that there is much more to you than your HIV.
Your HIV status is not a reflection of your self-worth; try not to let it affect your standards. You do not have to "settle" for being alone or being with a person who is wrong for you because you are living with HIV. There is no need to be afraid to have love in your life. Look for a loving relationship with a person who wants to be with you for you. Sex and being sexy can be important and exciting parts of your relationship. If you feel worried or guilty about the possibility of infecting your partner, make sure you know how to protect him or her by practicing safer sex.
Many women feel ashamed of or embarrassed by their HIV status when dating. These feelings are normal. However, if these feelings last and prevent you from dating, or lead to depression or isolation, it is important to get help. You may feel a good bit of relief even from telling one person you can trust. You may find a support group or therapist helpful. Once you connect with others, you will probably begin to feel more self-confident. As you feel better about yourself, you will likely remember how loving you can be — not just with yourself, but with others.
That love might turn into romance before too long.